lilytbh

Hey there. It's been a while since I last checked in.

In fact, the reason why I decided to write on this platform again is because of my dear friend who said she secretly checks my blog for updates every once in a while (if you see this, please say hi ;) ).

So yes, I've been engaged since 27 November 2021 and have been wedding planning for a month before, after we passed PMC counseling.

The wedding date is in April so it's been pretty hectic with only 7 months to lock down everything.

The truth is, I've been pretty burnout from the whole planning experience to the point I just wish everything to end soon. I'm pretty indecisive + wedding planning requires multiple decisions to be made = recipe for frequent burnouts.

But at the same time, I also realize that this is a once-in-a-lifetime moment. It is a period of sweet transition from couple life to married life. If I were to be honest, the organizational freak in me loves wedding planning and getting things done in spreadsheets, one check at a time.

Josh told me that while I focus on planning the rest of the wedding, I should also rest and remember how far we've come. Indeed, God has guided us throughout this wedding planning process, and I'm in awe at how things worked out the way they had. Praise the Lord!

I'm also very grateful for loved ones to remind me that what matters most is not which color palette you choose, or which dress you wear, but that at the end of the day, you will be married before God and in the presence of your loved ones.

Although decisions still have to be made, somehow it makes it easier to remember the day is in God's hands and nothing is more important to Him than seeing both His children being united in love.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

PC: Foto Pettine (Unsplash)

Dear Lily,

Hey there, it's been a while.

So many things have happened since I last wrote in. Or rather, since 2020 started.

Before I knew it, it's already mid-April. Crazy how time flies.

I just want to check in and say that although so many things have happened this year, you are going to be okay. Everyone is going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay.

Yes, you have a case of career-itis.

Yes, things are happening in this world, some of them sparking unwanted chain reactions in the process.

Yes, you feel guilty when you cannot help everybody, even when you want to.

Yes, some days are so quiet you are forced to think things that day-to-day busyness usually masks.

But I see you.

I see you stepping bravely into the forest deep within yourself, asking questions and growing from the answers.

I see you taking initiative to grow: courses, podcasts, books, videos. You grew from the silence, drinking up from as many sources of knowledge you can find.

I see you, despite having a hazy future, clinging on to the faith that God knows best.

I see you, trying to be a better person, for yourself, for the ones you love.

And I am so proud to be you.

Love always,

Lily

PC: fotografierende (Pexels)

As 2020 looms near, a truth painfully stood out to me.

I had been passive in chasing my dreams/doing the things that I want to do.

Admittedly, it was due to tiredness from PRP. However, one year of "I can't do it" or "there are no opportunities out there" means it had slowly poisoned my worldview.

After PRP ended, I had more time to reflect on life. For the first few weeks, I could not get used to the fact that previous busyness on things that I had to do, had been replaced by doing things that I actually want to do. It was empowering, yet scary.

It took me a while to regain my bearings and evaluate life choices with clarity.

Coincidentally, DUMC (the church that I have been regularly attending) is focusing on "chasing the lion" (2 Samuel 23: 20-23). "Chasing the lion" means going proactively after the lion (our weaknesses/fear), instead of running away.

Although the recently concluded sermon series was primarily on encouraging people to join missions for Impact2020, it also gradually shaped beliefs about myself and my God-given potential. Datuk Dennis Ignatius delivered a powerful reminder in his sermon "Stand On The Hill" (22-23/11/2019), that God has put seeds of greatness within us, and it is our responsibility to "fan into flame the gift of God" (2 Timothy 1:6).

A series of events happened after I really absorbed this message.

1. I volunteered for the writing team of Impact2020 a few months back. After months of no updates, instead of doubting my abilities, I finally mustered the courage to approach them, asking if they need any help in any way at all. They responded with eagerness and guided me to write my first write-up for church in less than a week!

2. Feeling excited about applying this message, I messaged Pertiwi Soup Kitchen as soon as I realize they have medical clinics on Fridays for the homeless and urban poor. Within a few minutes, they replied to me and I am in!

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." - Matthew 7:7 (NIV)

A little bit of background: my dreams include writing for church and serving in medical clinics. Both dreams were realized just like that. Praise the Lord!

Just a few weeks ago I was writing about taking life one step at a time even when feeling lost. I was reminded of the beautiful promise of God:

"...along unfamiliar paths I will guide them..." - Isaiah 42:16 (NIV)

Let's enter 2020 with a heart full of gratitude for God's blessings for this year and a posture of submission to His plans for the coming year!

Have a blessed new year!

PC: Pixabay (Pexels)

Gary Vee, the famous entrepreneur coach on social media, has been putting up contents on removing the barrier to create.

His strategy is simple: Don't overthink and just do it.

It sounds simple, but why is it so hard to do?

Maybe we think:
- we are not good enough.
- we need to only put out top notch content.

Maybe we are just too exhausted, at the end of the day, to think about the next thing to write/film.

Maybe we are uncertain of this thing that we are doing. Will this be able to pay the bills?

At the core of it all is fear.

Fear of failure. What if people don't like what I'm creating?

Fear of disappointment. What if it doesn't work out the way I wanted it to and I disappoint myself?

Fear of wasting time. Is it really worth the time that I could do other more enjoyable things instead?

Fear of wasting money. Maybe I should invest in other things instead, because this won't be generating money anytime soon.

All creators have faced fears like this before, even successful ones.

But being a creator is never about the results.

It is about the process.

If we focus more on the process, like how we enjoy bringing words to life, or how we successfully captured the picture of a fragile flower. Maybe we would be so in love with what we are doing that others approval does not matter as long as we are delivering value.

Truth is, value is something we cannot quantify or define. Value is also subjective. And in this technology-driven world, everybody is Googling everything-from professional to deeply personal questions. Your niche article may just be the answer to someone's question.

So I say, ode to Gary Vee's (+Nike +Shia LaBeouf's) advice:

Just Do It.

Then take things one step at a time. You will be amazed at where you go from that first initial step.

I am rooting for you!

PS This meme-worthy motivational speech by Shia LaBeouf is actually really simple yet inspiring. Check it out:

PC: Jonas Svidras (Pexels)

As PRP draws to an end, more roads start to emerge.

Career path? Serving direction?

These are hard questions indeed, often asked with no clear answers.

However, I am reminded to take life one step at a time.

My work is a good example.

Everyday is unexpectable. At the outpatient dispensing counter, it is vital to take things one step at a time. If not, we will literally go crazy with the Diner Dash work pace.

Workflow: Take the bakul, ~~breathe~~, "kill" the number, wait for the patient, smile at the patient, ask for their MRN, dispense according to the screen, write the date for next pharmacy visit, repeat everything pronto.

The interesting thing about dispensing (and in fact, all customer service related jobs) is that humans are ~~highly~~ unpredictable. And I have found that it is a reminder that since we take our patients one step at a time, why not our life too?

Sometimes we want to take control of our lives by planning meticulously, but we need to remember that we can plan, but God is the master planner. And when things go differently from our plan, we need to learn to surrender to His plan, for there are certainly things that we could not see but would be revealed in the future.

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.- Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)

TL;DR Plan, but don't put too much pressure on planning because God is the master planner. Ask God for His wisdom and seek His heart when planning. Take life one step at a time, don't rush off to the next destination without taking time to smell the flowers.

PC: Josh Sorenson (Pexels)

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